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American Dream Serialization (Early Chapters)
Introduction to Jim Chaffee's Studies in Mathematical Pornography by Maurice Stoker
Introduction to Jim Chaffee's Studies in Mathematical Pornography by Tom Bradley
Studies in Mathematical Pornography: American Dream Title Page by Jim Chaffee
Studies in Mathematical Pornography: Chapter 1 by Jim Chaffee
Studies in Mathematical Pornography: Chapter 2 by Jim Chaffee
Studies in Mathematical Pornography: Chapter 3 by Jim Chaffee
Studies in Mathematical Pornography: Chapter 4 by Jim Chaffee
Studies in Mathematical Pornography: Chapter 5 by Jim Chaffee
Studies in Mathematical Pornography: Chapter 6 by Jim Chaffee
Studies in Mathematical Pornography: Chapter 7 by Jim Chaffee
Studies in Mathematical Pornography: Chapter 8 by Jim Chaffee
Studies in Mathematical Pornography: Chapter 9 by Jim Chaffee
01-01-2015
Modern Tragedy, or Parodies of Ourselves by Robert Castle
01-11-2014
Totally Enchanté, Dahling by Thor Garcia
01-04-2014
Hastini by Rudy Ravindra
The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter Volume 5 Translation by W. C. Firebaugh
01-01-2014
Unexpected Pastures by Kim Farleigh
10-01-2013
Nonviolence by Jim Courter
The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter Volume 4 Translation by W. C. Firebaugh
07-01-2013
The Poet Laureate of Greenville by Al Po
The Apocalypse of St. Cleo, Part VI by Thor Garcia
The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter Volume 3 Translation by W. C. Firebaugh
04-01-2013
The Apocalypse of St. Cleo, Part V by Thor Garcia
The Apocalypse of St. Cleo, Part IV by Thor Garcia
The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter Volume 2 Translation by W. C. Firebaugh
01-01-2013
The Apocalypse of St. Cleo, Part I by Thor Garcia
The Apocalypse of St. Cleo, Part II by Thor Garcia
The Apocalypse of St. Cleo, Part III by Thor Garcia
The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter Volume 1 Translation by W. C. Firebaugh
10-01-2012
DADDY KNOWS WORST: Clown Cowers as Father Flounders! by Thor Garcia
RESURRECTON: Excerpt from Breakfast at Midnight by Louis Armand
Review of The Volcker Virus (Donald Strauss) by Kane X Faucher: Excerpt from the forthcoming Infinite Grey by Kane X Faucher
01-07-2012
Little Red Light by Suvi Mahonen and Luke Waldrip
TEXECUTION: Klown Konfab as Killer Kroaked! by Thor Garcia
Miranda's Poop by Jimmy Grist
Paul Fabulan by Kane X Faucher: Excerpt from the forthcoming Infinite Grey by Kane X Faucher
01-04-2012
Operation Scumbag by Thor Garcia
Take-Out Dick by Holly Day
Patience by Ward Webb
The Moon Hides Behind a Cloud by Barrie Darke
The Golden Limo of Slipback City by Ken Valenti
01-01-2012
Chapter from The Infinite Atrocity by Kane X. Faucher
Support the Troops By Giving Them Posthumous Boners by Tom Bradley
01-10-2011
When Good Pistols Do Bad Things by Kurt Mueller
Corporate Strategies by Bruce Douglas Reeves
The Dead Sea by Kim Farleigh
The Perfect Knot by Ernest Alanki
Girlish by Bob Bartholomew
01-07-2011
The Little Ganges by Joshua Willey
The Invisible World: René Magritte by Nick Bertelson
Honk for Jesus by Mitchell Waldman
01-04-2011
Red's Dead by Eli Richardson
The Memphis Showdown by Gabriel Ricard
Someday Man by John Grochalski
01-01-2011
I Was a Teenage Rent-a-Frankenstein by Tom Bradley
Only Love Can Break Your Heart by Fred Bubbers
10-01-2010
Believe in These Men by Adam Greenfield
The Magnus Effect by Robert Edward Sullivan
Performance Piece by Jim Chaffee
07-01-2010
Injustice for All by D. E. Fredd
The Polysyllogistic Curse by Gary J. Shipley
How It's Done by Anjoli Roy
Ghost Dance by Connor Caddigan
Two in a Van by Pavlo Kravchenko
04-01-2010
Uncreated Creatures by Connor Caddigan
Invisible by Anjoli Roy
One of Us by Sonia Ramos Rossi
Storyteller by Alan McCormick
01-01-2010
Idolatry by Robert Smith
P H I L E M A T O P H I L I A by Traci Chee
They Do! by Al Po
Full TEX Archive
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Polar Regions

By Gayla Chaney

East Texas Prince by Jerry Craven

I am sleeping with a mailman. I suppose there is nothing exceptional or unique about that except that I am sleeping with him based on the fact that he is a mailman, which does not seem like a good enough reason. Still, it is the only reason I can come up with.

His name is Dick Herring, which doesn't make much difference except now I can call him something besides "the mailman." His name didn’t matter when I used to watch him walk up the sidewalk to my shop in his Postal Service gray-blue shirt and shorts to deliver mostly bills that I couldn't pay, and on one or two occasions, a postcard from my ex-husband who Dick resembles…a little. At least that's what I once thought as I sat in my shop, Alayna's Eclectic Lady, day after day, with so little to do that the mailman's arrival was a significant point in my morning.

His arrival signaled midday. After his departure I felt comfortable eating my lunch, even on the days when he arrived early, before eleven. It made no difference to me. Mailman: Time for ham and cheese. The sex came only after he had delivered his last worthless stack of impersonal notifications and flyers on the day I was closing up shop, literally.

That day, when he walked into my shop, the bell over the door didn't ring because I had already taken it down. Dick didn't notice the absence of a ringing bell. He claims nothing seemed the least bit unusual to him. Oh sure, he admits catching a glimpse of the 'Going Out of Business Sale' sign on the display window, but he says that he didn't give it much thought. Now that I know Dick better, I believe every word he says.

Spider I, Kemper Museum, KCMO

I seduced Dick, which was a hell of a lot more difficult than I had imagined it would be. Watching him day after day, I pictured, just for fun, a fantasy to give me momentary relief from the reality of my failing business; a brief escape from the awful realization that my share of the divorce settlement was evaporating while I watched soap operas in a dying dress shop into which I had deposited every last cent.

Undressing Dick in my mind offered an amusing distraction while I undressed the mannequins on display. It turned out that the mannequins were more entertaining. But I couldn't have known that. After three glasses of wine and Dick's timely arrival that last Thursday before I returned the shop keys to the landlord and walked out the front door forever, I took a chance at making the shop produce just one profitable day for me. If he had rejected my advances, I figured I'd never have to see him again. It's a big enough city to avoid one mailman for a lifetime. That thought, coupled with the wine, gave me courage to proceed.

Dick flatly states he didn't notice I was braless and that he didn't have a clue of what was up until I pulled down the door shade. This guy would say anything, despite how insulting. "Honestly, I was thinking about lunch. When you asked me if I'd like a glass of wine, I thought you were crazy. It was only 11:45 in the morning, and I was on the job. When you locked the front door and put the 'CLOSED' sign up, I got kind of scared.'

Yes, I'm the frightening type. Five foot four, one hundred twelve pounds of terrifying woman. Oh well, maybe I am more formidable than I realize. Men like Dick may scare easily, or perhaps they prefer their lives come packaged in individual boxes labeled "work time," "play time," "sleep." It’s also possible I am rusty at seduction, weak at innuendo, or guilty of watching too many soap operas where raunchy women prey on unsuspecting, gullible men, seducing them with ease.

Spider I, Kemper Museum, KCMO

Dick told me that he would like to meet Ben, my ex-husband, should Ben ever come for a visit. I laughed, responding sarcastically with something like, "You two have so much in common," to which Dick grinned, assuming I meant something entirely different.